Life is a bitch, but awesome at the same time - Which basically keeps the balance equal all at the same time I suppose.
What have I been doing in the...3 and a half months since I was last here I hear...Hopefully someone ask...
Well, I've got college sorted out and my new subjects for me going back at enf of August, I've being overlooked by the lovely NHS and everything now I have 'ME' or 'Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' - But I don't care, my mum's after referals and stuff but we'll see what happens, I think i'll be able to cope okay now I understand myself more and know to stop whatever I'm doing when I feel too tired - Before I get to the dizzy/faint from tiredness stage and such.
Other stuff happening is I've got my social life back..Which is just AWESOME! It gives me such an adrenaline boost and it's so much fun.
And me and my mates make so many plans and suggestions - And I'm determined to do them all - I say within reason because I'm of course not 'better' - But I've decided not to let anything stop me by making me think 'oh I can't do this' when if I'm determined enough I can, and I am like a clinical planner, so by the time everything starts to happen I will be prepared for every eventuality. Plans in particular is Glastonbury 2008, but even if something did happen - Like me blacking out, I wouldn't be too worried, I'll be with my best friends who I trust completely and such and I wouldn't really be travelling round the field on my own if I was on the verge anyway.
Okay. So what's prompted me to revive this - And do I still want to be a journalist?
To answer the second question first: Yes!
But English and History, the subjects I'm focusing on, lead down so many different career paths that you just have to see what happens further down the line, but to be a journalist or radio broadcaster, or something like that would just be amazing still.
And as for the first question - My friend. And she doesn't even realise it. It's all to do with fashion, and I just feel like there's a lot to be said and done that isn't - Or maybe has been said but isn't getting done. And if anyone's stumbled on here and is confused, don't worry I'll be posting an article explaining all soon, right now my adrenaline has officially worn off, I'm dead, and going to sleep...
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Monday, 2 July 2007
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Not dead yet!
Hey everyone, I'm still alive and interested in my blog, though wow it's been a long time since i've posted! I apologise for that, (almost two weeks to be exact) and I've missed commenting on a few stories I've come across in the meantime which I'm annoyed about, so will have a recent newstory round up of the best ones tomorrow.
But I do have a relativly good excuse for not posting for so long - That thing some people know as 'real life'.
From Thursday 22nd of February to Sunday my little cousin (12) was staying over, and with him being here, and sleeping on the floor of my room, it was impossible to be able to concentrate long enough to post once - let alone every day, due to the fact he seems to have the mental age of about 6, so he wouldn't leave me alone, and kept closing my programs, stealing the mouse, pulling on the keyboard, writing gibberish, jumping on me, turning off my computer from the power button, etc... And he refused to treat me as an authoritive figure/adult because I'm 17 - so in his mind just a kid, so telling him off/hitting him round the head/banning him from watching a dvd/me reading to him/whatever else he wanted, etc... but that would do either nothing to stop him misbehaving, or make him go into a full blown tantrum.
The reason I'm explaining this is because it has hit on an (I think) interesting subject. I say this because I know several children, (mostly boys) around the 11-13 pre-teen age who act as if they are half the age they are - & the one common factor between all of them is the fact their parents had them late in life. Which makes me wonder if it's not just coincidence, but more a behavioural and mental pattern due to how a lot of parents in their early to mid (and in some case even late) 40's raise their children and how the chirldren in turn react to their parents when they become more aware of things like the fact their parents are much older than their friend's parents, etc...
But I'll save that article/discussion/debate, call it what you will for later in the week.
Anyway, on Sunday night my useless immune system got hit by a virus, so considering the fact I was ill to begin with, getting a fever, throwing up, hallucinating (pretty whacked out ones too), sneezing and coughing, (also setting off my tonsillitus) wasn't the best thing to happen...But got rid of that now, except for my cough which has stuck around with the tonsillitus.
And finally, the past couple of days didn't have time to post as I was busy planning a week trip to Cleveland, Ohio in America with one of my best friends in July. Yes - Not one of the most obvious tourist spots in the states, but one of my other friends is moving out there on March 12th, so it's a chance to see her, and there's a gig we want to see in Lakeside on while we're there. Reason for telling you that is because i'll be doing a diary on the trip when it happens, and also a few articles in relation to planning it. (Not least a few rants on certain policies in some/all of the American states.. And then there's the little matter of 'Amendment 2', but not going to go into that now...)
Okay, so that's pretty much me up to date, thank you all my readers, and especially those who leave comments, and sorry for not replying to some of the comments left on or after the 21st of Frb that I wasn't able to reply to, and i'll try and catch up on all your blogs within the next couple of days.
But I do have a relativly good excuse for not posting for so long - That thing some people know as 'real life'.
From Thursday 22nd of February to Sunday my little cousin (12) was staying over, and with him being here, and sleeping on the floor of my room, it was impossible to be able to concentrate long enough to post once - let alone every day, due to the fact he seems to have the mental age of about 6, so he wouldn't leave me alone, and kept closing my programs, stealing the mouse, pulling on the keyboard, writing gibberish, jumping on me, turning off my computer from the power button, etc... And he refused to treat me as an authoritive figure/adult because I'm 17 - so in his mind just a kid, so telling him off/hitting him round the head/banning him from watching a dvd/me reading to him/whatever else he wanted, etc... but that would do either nothing to stop him misbehaving, or make him go into a full blown tantrum.
The reason I'm explaining this is because it has hit on an (I think) interesting subject. I say this because I know several children, (mostly boys) around the 11-13 pre-teen age who act as if they are half the age they are - & the one common factor between all of them is the fact their parents had them late in life. Which makes me wonder if it's not just coincidence, but more a behavioural and mental pattern due to how a lot of parents in their early to mid (and in some case even late) 40's raise their children and how the chirldren in turn react to their parents when they become more aware of things like the fact their parents are much older than their friend's parents, etc...
But I'll save that article/discussion/debate, call it what you will for later in the week.
Anyway, on Sunday night my useless immune system got hit by a virus, so considering the fact I was ill to begin with, getting a fever, throwing up, hallucinating (pretty whacked out ones too), sneezing and coughing, (also setting off my tonsillitus) wasn't the best thing to happen...But got rid of that now, except for my cough which has stuck around with the tonsillitus.
And finally, the past couple of days didn't have time to post as I was busy planning a week trip to Cleveland, Ohio in America with one of my best friends in July. Yes - Not one of the most obvious tourist spots in the states, but one of my other friends is moving out there on March 12th, so it's a chance to see her, and there's a gig we want to see in Lakeside on while we're there. Reason for telling you that is because i'll be doing a diary on the trip when it happens, and also a few articles in relation to planning it. (Not least a few rants on certain policies in some/all of the American states.. And then there's the little matter of 'Amendment 2', but not going to go into that now...)
Okay, so that's pretty much me up to date, thank you all my readers, and especially those who leave comments, and sorry for not replying to some of the comments left on or after the 21st of Frb that I wasn't able to reply to, and i'll try and catch up on all your blogs within the next couple of days.
Monday, 19 February 2007
Ah, don't you just love irony?
As I said in the lovely titled 'Blog Babies' post, I mentioned that I had submitted my site to various site engines and such, to try and 'build traffic' and I have got a few readers *waves little flag* though I highly doubt any advertising had anything to do - Lik
e Ron says it's all down to connecting and communicating and other words excecutives in expensive suits use in meetings.
Anyway, so It's been nearly a week since I did that, and I was bored, so I searched my name on Google to see what came up, and I took a print screen of the first few results, - As you can see...And my blog doesn't come up - Not even further down but that doesn't matter. I just thought it was pretty ironic that the first and forth posts on the page were both links to a post I wrote on the help group about the things you can do to help advertise your blog.
And here's the link to said post for reference I suppose.
e Ron says it's all down to connecting and communicating and other words excecutives in expensive suits use in meetings.Anyway, so It's been nearly a week since I did that, and I was bored, so I searched my name on Google to see what came up, and I took a print screen of the first few results, - As you can see...And my blog doesn't come up - Not even further down but that doesn't matter. I just thought it was pretty ironic that the first and forth posts on the page were both links to a post I wrote on the help group about the things you can do to help advertise your blog.
And here's the link to said post for reference I suppose.
Most useless documentary maker ever
Okay so i'll explain the situation.
On my estate one of the split level bungalows is being taken down and replaced with 3 two storey houses with roof space. I decided this would be an interesting project to film and get reactions from the builders and residents, then put a spin on it from a more general point of view about housing development and such.
Okay?
Simple.
Errrr not really. My mum is 100% against the building development and has being trying to stop it. She failed but nevermind. I personally don't know what I think, I'm on the fence - Or I would be if they hadn't pulled that down this morning along with the house's garage.
So anyway I just need to go down with the camera and talk to the builders - Easy peasy right? Again no.
I am really not that confident and I am pretty paranoid, so I thought I'd work my way up to that so would do some test shots looking down on the site from the back garden. So I did that, and the angles were rubbish so I deleted them.
My mum got pretty obsessed about them blocking the road, cue me sitting in the sitting room in the window taking photographs for her that I can't use because they aren't related to what I'm trying to get across in my documentary, and there's the glare of the window so they are...Well really crap.
Then someone got out a camera and started taking pictures back - Equals me freaking out, mum having a go at me and me throwing the camera at mum, mum dropping the camera, me getting blamed for mum being the worst catcher in the world, and then getting banned from using the camera.
Then the builders come up, and are naturally pretty pissed at the photography, mum yelled at them about various things she's not happy with to do with the site in general, then said I was trying to do a documentary (Cheers mum for putting all the blame on me when I didn't want to take anything inside in the first place) So I come down and explain as best I can what I'm trying to achieve and that I'm not that most confident of people, (Ha! Understatement of the year) and if I go and talk to them direct they won't mind. But now I'm tempted to just scrap the whole thing, I mean due to paranoidness I'll still be afraid of all the builders.
And now children, I think the lesson for the day is - Don't listen to my mum, and don't ever hire me to do a documentary, I'll probably get arrested...Or committed to a psych ward...
On my estate one of the split level bungalows is being taken down and replaced with 3 two storey houses with roof space. I decided this would be an interesting project to film and get reactions from the builders and residents, then put a spin on it from a more general point of view about housing development and such.
Okay?
Simple.
Errrr not really. My mum is 100% against the building development and has being trying to stop it. She failed but nevermind. I personally don't know what I think, I'm on the fence - Or I would be if they hadn't pulled that down this morning along with the house's garage.
So anyway I just need to go down with the camera and talk to the builders - Easy peasy right? Again no.
I am really not that confident and I am pretty paranoid, so I thought I'd work my way up to that so would do some test shots looking down on the site from the back garden. So I did that, and the angles were rubbish so I deleted them.
My mum got pretty obsessed about them blocking the road, cue me sitting in the sitting room in the window taking photographs for her that I can't use because they aren't related to what I'm trying to get across in my documentary, and there's the glare of the window so they are...Well really crap.
Then someone got out a camera and started taking pictures back - Equals me freaking out, mum having a go at me and me throwing the camera at mum, mum dropping the camera, me getting blamed for mum being the worst catcher in the world, and then getting banned from using the camera.
Then the builders come up, and are naturally pretty pissed at the photography, mum yelled at them about various things she's not happy with to do with the site in general, then said I was trying to do a documentary (Cheers mum for putting all the blame on me when I didn't want to take anything inside in the first place) So I come down and explain as best I can what I'm trying to achieve and that I'm not that most confident of people, (Ha! Understatement of the year) and if I go and talk to them direct they won't mind. But now I'm tempted to just scrap the whole thing, I mean due to paranoidness I'll still be afraid of all the builders.
And now children, I think the lesson for the day is - Don't listen to my mum, and don't ever hire me to do a documentary, I'll probably get arrested...Or committed to a psych ward...
Saturday, 17 February 2007
Blog babies
Okay, so obviously I've not been a blogger for very long, but already I've realised it's a lot like having a baby. And you think your baby is better than everybody else's. So because of that you want to give it the best start in life - Advertising it on the forums, submitting it to all the search engines and basically giving your little blog a nice big fan base and hopefully some rankings.
Bit of a bad analogy but it does fit, and I do admit - I've been submitting my to various places. And I've looked around a few people's blogs - Not posted much on the forums. Mainly because I don't want to act like a newbie going "Come read my blog - pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase!" - No offence to anyone of course but that's not my style.
I do still want people to read of course and tell me what they think. But because they want to instead of me begging. But then it all comes back to advertising really.
I'm thinking of building a links section for other blogs that I've read and enjoyed, but I'm not sure when I'll get that set up. Been feeling less great than I usually do so the last couple of days I've been shying away from stuff - which I'm now kicking myself for of course, I've decided to try and do one of those daily goal list things, so I get my side projects finished sometime before the next millennium, whilst making sure I'm not neglecting my little blog baby...Yeah, I'm gonna stop calling it that for a start...
Bit of a bad analogy but it does fit, and I do admit - I've been submitting my to various places. And I've looked around a few people's blogs - Not posted much on the forums. Mainly because I don't want to act like a newbie going "Come read my blog - pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase!" - No offence to anyone of course but that's not my style.
I do still want people to read of course and tell me what they think. But because they want to instead of me begging. But then it all comes back to advertising really.
I'm thinking of building a links section for other blogs that I've read and enjoyed, but I'm not sure when I'll get that set up. Been feeling less great than I usually do so the last couple of days I've been shying away from stuff - which I'm now kicking myself for of course, I've decided to try and do one of those daily goal list things, so I get my side projects finished sometime before the next millennium, whilst making sure I'm not neglecting my little blog baby...Yeah, I'm gonna stop calling it that for a start...
Thursday, 15 February 2007
What *is* she wearing?
Yesterday I left the comfort of my bed and went across to Manchester to see my friend Bex, her sister Vix, and go see a movie. Okay, so it doesn't sound that thrilling - But considering I haven't had that much of a social life lately it is a semi big deal.
The movie we saw - Back In Business, I'll talk about later in a review attempt but for now I'd like to concentrate on something that was the topic of conversation for most of yesterday afternoon while we were looking round the shops:
Fashion.
It seems to have become a huge part of our culture, without us (or at least me) even realising it. But I'm notso sure if that's such a good thing. Everyone being obsessed about what they are wearing. Sure there's supposedly clothes to suit everyone, but how easy is it to get them when they all have +£50 price tags on?
I personally like a range of stuff - from Soho type cult clothes to Next and Monsoon, but my tastes don't particually stray too far into goth land or the girly-girl type stuff. I have a balance. Technically though most of my clothes are just plain jeans, baggy tops and arty shirts - Mostly because the clothes I would like to have more of are just so expensive.
Bad fashion is also very popular right now, but I suppose this is getting into an opinion thing. Honestly though, those grey stripy hot pant things or tiny skirts with lycra leggings/tights, then those tube type grey smocks and tiny jackets that end roughly at the same line as your bra does - Why do people even want to wear them?
Because it's cool apparently. And why is it cool? Because fashion models and companies tell us it is I suppose. I don't actually know if I'd suit clothes like those I described in the previous paragraph - One thing's for certain though. You'll never catch me finding out...
However I don't kow if I suit some of the styles I do like either. Because when I'm looking round the shops I feel like such a fraud as I know I can't afford them, so I chicken out of trying them on.
My mum wants to have a girly day out in Manchester soon, just me and her - Go see a movie, show her the clothes I like then maybe treat me to a couple of things, make note of other styles then come back and design/make my own.
Though that sounds cheap, making my own clothes the way I want them does preserve originality. Which a lot of people seem to have lost since everybody is buying the same things. Yesterday I saw at least half a dozen people wearing the same black and white coat, and hundreds in the smocks, leggings and hot pants - And it wasn't exactly a boiling hot day so it's a wonder everyone wasn't freezing...Unless the blue hypothermia look is in this year and I've just not being told.
Now I wouldn't say I'm fat - I mean, I'm 5ft 1, weigh just over 7 stone, and my shoe size is about 3.5. So I'm a size 8, sometimes a 6 and very occasionally a 10. But when I do have the courage to try some clothes on, I still feel semi ugly and wrong. But that's not me - It's the fault of the designers who just seem to be making clothes to fit their 5 ft 9 models who are the perfect size 0 - So in other words people who are anorexic, bulimic or freaks of nature the celebrity way.
I just wish that I could walk into a shop to buy some trousers or jeans and not have to have them turned up when I get home, or I look at a really nice and for a change affordable top, and not have to leave it on the rack because the designer has stupidly decided that someone my shape is going to have a natural bust that will fit into their otherwise gorgeous top. Is that so much to ask?
I think not. But then I'm just a normal customer with a natural figure and not a lot of money - What on earth would I know about fashion?
The movie we saw - Back In Business, I'll talk about later in a review attempt but for now I'd like to concentrate on something that was the topic of conversation for most of yesterday afternoon while we were looking round the shops:
Fashion.
It seems to have become a huge part of our culture, without us (or at least me) even realising it. But I'm notso sure if that's such a good thing. Everyone being obsessed about what they are wearing. Sure there's supposedly clothes to suit everyone, but how easy is it to get them when they all have +£50 price tags on?
I personally like a range of stuff - from Soho type cult clothes to Next and Monsoon, but my tastes don't particually stray too far into goth land or the girly-girl type stuff. I have a balance. Technically though most of my clothes are just plain jeans, baggy tops and arty shirts - Mostly because the clothes I would like to have more of are just so expensive.
Bad fashion is also very popular right now, but I suppose this is getting into an opinion thing. Honestly though, those grey stripy hot pant things or tiny skirts with lycra leggings/tights, then those tube type grey smocks and tiny jackets that end roughly at the same line as your bra does - Why do people even want to wear them?
Because it's cool apparently. And why is it cool? Because fashion models and companies tell us it is I suppose. I don't actually know if I'd suit clothes like those I described in the previous paragraph - One thing's for certain though. You'll never catch me finding out...
However I don't kow if I suit some of the styles I do like either. Because when I'm looking round the shops I feel like such a fraud as I know I can't afford them, so I chicken out of trying them on.
My mum wants to have a girly day out in Manchester soon, just me and her - Go see a movie, show her the clothes I like then maybe treat me to a couple of things, make note of other styles then come back and design/make my own.
Though that sounds cheap, making my own clothes the way I want them does preserve originality. Which a lot of people seem to have lost since everybody is buying the same things. Yesterday I saw at least half a dozen people wearing the same black and white coat, and hundreds in the smocks, leggings and hot pants - And it wasn't exactly a boiling hot day so it's a wonder everyone wasn't freezing...Unless the blue hypothermia look is in this year and I've just not being told.
Now I wouldn't say I'm fat - I mean, I'm 5ft 1, weigh just over 7 stone, and my shoe size is about 3.5. So I'm a size 8, sometimes a 6 and very occasionally a 10. But when I do have the courage to try some clothes on, I still feel semi ugly and wrong. But that's not me - It's the fault of the designers who just seem to be making clothes to fit their 5 ft 9 models who are the perfect size 0 - So in other words people who are anorexic, bulimic or freaks of nature the celebrity way.
I just wish that I could walk into a shop to buy some trousers or jeans and not have to have them turned up when I get home, or I look at a really nice and for a change affordable top, and not have to leave it on the rack because the designer has stupidly decided that someone my shape is going to have a natural bust that will fit into their otherwise gorgeous top. Is that so much to ask?
I think not. But then I'm just a normal customer with a natural figure and not a lot of money - What on earth would I know about fashion?
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Paranoia Is Power
There's a few classic dreams aren't there? The naked in a crowded place one which causes maximum embarrisment for a start. I must admit I've never had that dream, but last night I had one that to me is worse, and it could in the not too distant future come true.
It was today and I had come on to write a review for series two, episode one of Life On Mars - which I will be doing at 10pm. Anyway, there was a comment for my first post and I can't remember the entire comment but it basically it said this:
"I don't agree. I think you should stop trying to be something you're not. I know I wouldn't want to open the paper and read things written by some pathetic wannabe who whines about how hard everything is and acts like a child. So just give up now."
I know it was just a dream, but it still made me feel very paranoid - What if people really will think like this about my writing? Though I always will get some critisism I guess - Everybody does. I'll just have to toughen up and treat this as a learning experience - Never listen to the paranoid voices in my head.
It was today and I had come on to write a review for series two, episode one of Life On Mars - which I will be doing at 10pm. Anyway, there was a comment for my first post and I can't remember the entire comment but it basically it said this:
"I don't agree. I think you should stop trying to be something you're not. I know I wouldn't want to open the paper and read things written by some pathetic wannabe who whines about how hard everything is and acts like a child. So just give up now."
I know it was just a dream, but it still made me feel very paranoid - What if people really will think like this about my writing? Though I always will get some critisism I guess - Everybody does. I'll just have to toughen up and treat this as a learning experience - Never listen to the paranoid voices in my head.
Monday, 12 February 2007
Diving into the world of blogs
Okay, well it's a dark, rainy evening on Monday the 12th February 2007, and I am writing the first entry in this, my new biography-log thing or blog. I suppose everyone has a story on how or why they got a blog, so here's mine:
I am trying to break into journalism, and to be honest from where i'm sitting right now it seems like the only way i'm going to realistically manage that is if I actually broke into an editor's office and demanded a job at gun point...Which would probably put me in the spotlight, but not really for the right reasons.
In September 2006 I started at Greenhead College in Huddersfield with the plan of joining the college paper and doing some other journalism related enrichment courses to help me gather experience and connections that would help me be taken on for work experience in the summer at a local paper and thus help me prepare for the NCTJ prelim certificate.
Unfortuantly life has a habit of tripping you up and screwing up all your plans, and now i'm stuck at home on a year out, feeling ill and dizzy a lot of the time and the only noteable experience I've gained so far is what I've learnt on my hospital visits, which is basically - Receptionists are rude, porters are hypocrites, and if there was really a fire nobody would have a clue what to do and everyone would die.
Right now I feel totally useless, and though I've written an odd piece for my friend Bex's college paper, it doesn't feel like I've achieved anything this year so far, and more specifically - Won't at all.
My mum says to just relax and concentrate on getting well, but I am going insane, I just have to write and do something!
So that's why the other night I was researching online journalism courses, and I came up with a couple that sounded really good - But I can't do the hands on experience yet eventhough I'm not really doing anything (so infuriating) and each course is so expensive - I have a really poor income right now and there is now way I can spend £395 on the 6 months - 2 year course, and then £36 on 6 exams - however much I would like to...Plus I don't hold much faith in my shorthand ability but that is another problem I'll just have to deal with in time.
So I came to the conclusion I'll just have to wait till I'm back at college and my life is back on track as it were (though where that track is eventually going to lead I have no idea) for me to do anything about getting qualifications, but that doesn't stop me becoming a freelance journalist, working from home.
But I started thinking - Am I technically freelance when all I have to show is a just begun blog site and a couple of articles in someone else's college magazine? To be honest I have no idea, but if any editorial was willing to approach me with a job offer I certianly wouldn't be turning it down!
I do have a few things I could do though to try and prevent this year from being a total loss though:
1. Sign up officially with a site that represents freelance journalists. The most promising that I've seen will cost me £35 a year plus VAT, which doesn't seem bad at all, but I'll have to mull that one over a bit more.
2. Get in touch with my mum's friend Marion who has a DJing spot at Holme Valley Hospital, and see if I can do a music/talk show slot once a week for a couple of hours - I should be ok to do it, and it will be good practice. Plus I can see just how well I work in a media environment that is vocal because I do have a lisp which makes me a little unsure.
3. Get in early with learning shorthand. This will be no easy feat but I promise to try.
4. Pass my driving theory - Mum has actually banned me from trying to pass my actual driving test, in case I pass out and cause a pile up on the A64 or something...I see her point.
5. Try and get people interested in my blog so I can write my articles and thoughts, post them here and know people will read them instead of me just talking to myself - To be honest I don't care about money or anything, I'd just like to know that even if I'm not writing anything in a local paper or magazine, that my voice is still being heard and my opinions and stories might mean something to some of you out there in cyberland.
I feel like I've probably just written the longest post of absolute ranting rubbish ever, but after re-reading it I stand by every word, so I suppose that makes me either very honest, or possibly pretentious...I think I'll leave up to anyone reading to decide...
I am trying to break into journalism, and to be honest from where i'm sitting right now it seems like the only way i'm going to realistically manage that is if I actually broke into an editor's office and demanded a job at gun point...Which would probably put me in the spotlight, but not really for the right reasons.
In September 2006 I started at Greenhead College in Huddersfield with the plan of joining the college paper and doing some other journalism related enrichment courses to help me gather experience and connections that would help me be taken on for work experience in the summer at a local paper and thus help me prepare for the NCTJ prelim certificate.
Unfortuantly life has a habit of tripping you up and screwing up all your plans, and now i'm stuck at home on a year out, feeling ill and dizzy a lot of the time and the only noteable experience I've gained so far is what I've learnt on my hospital visits, which is basically - Receptionists are rude, porters are hypocrites, and if there was really a fire nobody would have a clue what to do and everyone would die.
Right now I feel totally useless, and though I've written an odd piece for my friend Bex's college paper, it doesn't feel like I've achieved anything this year so far, and more specifically - Won't at all.
My mum says to just relax and concentrate on getting well, but I am going insane, I just have to write and do something!
So that's why the other night I was researching online journalism courses, and I came up with a couple that sounded really good - But I can't do the hands on experience yet eventhough I'm not really doing anything (so infuriating) and each course is so expensive - I have a really poor income right now and there is now way I can spend £395 on the 6 months - 2 year course, and then £36 on 6 exams - however much I would like to...Plus I don't hold much faith in my shorthand ability but that is another problem I'll just have to deal with in time.
So I came to the conclusion I'll just have to wait till I'm back at college and my life is back on track as it were (though where that track is eventually going to lead I have no idea) for me to do anything about getting qualifications, but that doesn't stop me becoming a freelance journalist, working from home.
But I started thinking - Am I technically freelance when all I have to show is a just begun blog site and a couple of articles in someone else's college magazine? To be honest I have no idea, but if any editorial was willing to approach me with a job offer I certianly wouldn't be turning it down!
I do have a few things I could do though to try and prevent this year from being a total loss though:
1. Sign up officially with a site that represents freelance journalists. The most promising that I've seen will cost me £35 a year plus VAT, which doesn't seem bad at all, but I'll have to mull that one over a bit more.
2. Get in touch with my mum's friend Marion who has a DJing spot at Holme Valley Hospital, and see if I can do a music/talk show slot once a week for a couple of hours - I should be ok to do it, and it will be good practice. Plus I can see just how well I work in a media environment that is vocal because I do have a lisp which makes me a little unsure.
3. Get in early with learning shorthand. This will be no easy feat but I promise to try.
4. Pass my driving theory - Mum has actually banned me from trying to pass my actual driving test, in case I pass out and cause a pile up on the A64 or something...I see her point.
5. Try and get people interested in my blog so I can write my articles and thoughts, post them here and know people will read them instead of me just talking to myself - To be honest I don't care about money or anything, I'd just like to know that even if I'm not writing anything in a local paper or magazine, that my voice is still being heard and my opinions and stories might mean something to some of you out there in cyberland.
I feel like I've probably just written the longest post of absolute ranting rubbish ever, but after re-reading it I stand by every word, so I suppose that makes me either very honest, or possibly pretentious...I think I'll leave up to anyone reading to decide...
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